I am not kidding.….. How we live is what makes us real.
If each one of us is willing to peek into our own heart and see the truth. It is raw and fraught with emotion. Just knowing the human heart is the most difficult thing to reveal has the potential to wake you up to a different song.
When was the last time you let someone into your heart? Truly, so that they knew that you loved them too. That it wasn’t a passing moment but a heartfelt commitment of love and passion.
Why do we struggle with human connection so much? Why do we feel like we have something to lose if we put our cards on the table and show what lives in our heart?
The Purpose of Life
I often read articles on Medium on ways to live your life.
One recent idea suggested that in making decisions, “Did we make it from our highest values, or have we let ourselves be high-jacked by someone else’s agenda?
It went on to recommend “We will abandon efforts that don’t serve or have outlived their purpose”.
It made me think of purpose. What can be of any higher purpose than to show you love another human being?
It may high-jack our own agenda. But that is exactly what life is waiting and craving for.
Love. Untethered Love.
All human beings want to be high-jacked by love! They want to feel it. They want to know that it is real. Why is it such an onerous process for the heart to feel love?
Peer Into the Abyss of Love
For the rest of February, the month of love, I want to peer into the abyss of how love is missed in our lives. And how instead……
If we were to let our agendas go, love may steal its way in like an epic song in your heart.
Pick your favorite song. It doesn’t matter the words or the tune. What matters is the emotion it evokes in you. The challenge is to let love in your heart to feel this way too.
In my own life, nearly a year ago I had a wonderful opening in my heart with my mother-in-law. She was a beautiful woman. Tragically, she died last March from brain cancer at 74. She didn’t leave without showing me a miracle, that love is the meaning of life.
I miss her dearly.
She had great values. I as a younger woman had great values. However our ideas for how life was to play out clashed.
It’s not that either of us were necessarily wrong. We just viewed life from different perspectives. As much as I wanted my relationship with her to be grounded in love and creativity, she was more focused on sound values based on traditions.
We didn’t know each other’s playbook.
So at times she felt high-jacked by my agenda and the same was true for me. To work out our relationship took a level of depth and vulnerability many human beings are not willing to face.
Show Up and Be Seen
Ouch. There is that word, vulnerability. We may not even know this is what we fear. But seeing through this fear to show up and really be seen. This is the epic battle of life that is the path to love.
I am grateful everyday that neither of us gave up at trying for a deeper connection.
It wasn’t perfect. It took a ton of work.
I had to see how my values as I carried them out were not grounding me in the love I knew I could be.
But frankly many times I was stuck. And maybe mom a little too. It was an experience in relationship I knew I wanted more from but had no idea how to have it come about.
Vulnerability is the Special Sauce
Mom left for Arizona in December last year and by the time she made it home in February I was devastated at her physical decline. But the love the two of us had figured out between us was alive and well.
It was the most beautiful, all consuming experience. The moment she saw me she grabbed my hand and told me she never believed that it would be like this between us.
She was overwhelmed with emotion for our connection grounded in love.
I am so grateful for her courage to be vulnerable and let me know how much it meant to her.
She gave me a blessing that day that has further convinced me. All there is is love. And many times we can miss it, even though we have great values.
What agendas are you not willing to be high-jacked over? Why not take a risk and try on vulnerability instead? Allow your heart to be SET FREE rather than enslaved in pain and productivity.
The human heart has a lot of ways of protecting itself that may be preventing love. Love that is the real deal. Love changes everything.
If you are fascinated by what vulnerability can mean in your relationships, feel free to contact me at Brenyammon@gmail.com