Jacques, very interesting read.
“The system of male privilege does not pull for self-awareness, it only pulls for self-preservation”.
“When men are allowed to bring into the light their experiences of having abused the power of their male privilege upon women and are allowed to work through the suffocating shame, guilt, regret, and remorse for their actions, and start taking personal responsibility through positive action, only then can we hope that Oprah’s words will endure”.
For my own story in disrupting the status quo, my husband is an incredible human being. Yet, we live in a culture as you so eloquently put that promotes “male Privilege” and does not pull for self-awareness it only pulls for self-preservation.
In our relationship I was faced with two choices. Continue to build a brick wall and isolate myself from the falling debris in our life from this “male privilege” or I could hop over it and leave. It seems very few see any other option.
Being a maverick I opted to not tap out but tear down the male privilege icon in both my husband’s and my heart. Because the truth is, it takes two to tango.
Carving a path for vulnerability in relationship is not a well-worn one. Core beliefs are dearly held because they keep a person’s identity in place. Taking risks to transform these beliefs can bring on a shitstorm of emotions.
Vulnerability is not stealth. For my husband and I it has been like a full 12 round heavyweight fight.
I don’t believe our story is personal to just us. I think there is a lack of connection in people’s lives because they have not been shown any other path. They pick from the usual options, settling or leaving.
Vulnerability is not about picking a new option. It’s about opting to not go with the familiar. Just to have the conviction, I’m not going to do what I have always done. I am going to go with keeping my heart open here regardless of how it makes me feel.
Many may not like to admit this but we are so threatened with our inadequacies and what others should be giving us to make us feel whole, that we lose sight of what we really want. Deep, passionate, connection.
Thank you for your wonderful article.