Gustavo, great read. I like it when you say, “Change happens from within. To grow you need to cross the boundary of your comfort zone”.
When you offer this Dr.’s advice it sounds like staying in your comfort zone.
“Dr. Kristin Neff outlined the three elements of self-compassion:
- Self-kindness: being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and personal shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with self-criticism.
- Common humanity: recognizing that suffering and personal failure is part of the shared human experience. It’s about accepting that we have flaws, like everyone else.
- Mindfulness: taking a balanced approach to one’s negative emotions so that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. To accept all our thoughts without judging them. Connect with your emotions. Silencing them can be as bad as allowing your emotions to take over”.
I know this is a Dr.’s approach but it sounds like stampeding down a vicious circular path.
For instance, the other day someone asked that I please forgive him because he has flaws in his personality. I think sometimes people openly state their flaws as an excuse or language not to have to move forward in life.
If you are upsetting someone you should not just be kind to yourself. You should consider taking a look at these flaws instead of being accepting of them.
It’s not about perfection. It’s about developing as a human being. If you aren’t willing to be vulnerable, which is courageous and honest, about how your behavior is affecting others, life will remain superficial and stuck.